There may be divorced couples who are effective with their divorced parenting style, but not all parents have the same type of children to handle.
Some children will feel stigmatized if their parents will legally separate ways, especially if the reason involves a third party. They will find it difficult to understand how a parent could forsake the family over another person. In fact, if their mother is the suffering type they will of course take her side as the underdog and will definitely harbor negative feelings towards their father. Hence, divorced parenting will seem useless because in the eyes of the children, their father gave up his right to act as their parent.
In fact, any parent who chooses to give up his or her family over another person will find it difficult to carry his or her role in divorced parenting. The children were supposed to be the ties that could bind couples to work things out, thus, letting somebody come between his love for his or her children is something divorced parenting will find hard to tackle.
Nonetheless, where parents often fight and bicker in front of the children, the latter may find some unspoken relief about their parents getting divorced. However, this does not mean that the children will not form their own opinions as to who is to blame for the separation. Any parent whom they judge to be at fault will also find it difficult to carry out his role in a divorced parenting situation.
The bottom line here is for parents to consider their children’s feelings and mind conditions if ever they decide to divorce. It should not be something that is dropped on to them as if it is some piece of news. If parents have fallen out of love or even out of respect for each other, they should at least manifest their love and respect for their children by taking the effort to talk to them. Divorced parenting should start not post divorce but as soon as the issue of divorce is already in the offing.
If your children are old enough to understand, start your divorced parenting at the onset by explaining to them why their parents have to separate. Try to reach them and find out how they feel towards both of you. Divorced parenting should start by explaining to your children that even if their parents have decided to go their separate ways, you still have their best interest in your hearts, hence, you will still be and will act as their parents regardless of the situation.
If your children find it hard to understand the situation, you could probably seek the help of a guidance counselor on how you can best help your children get over the impact of your divorce. In divorce parenting, your first and foremost concerns are your children’s well being and state of mind.