How to handle an embarrasing incident depends on the person and the situation.If your boss has reprimanded you three times in front of co-workers and is about too it again,obviously you need to be careful as to how you respond.Still,you can remain calmly assertive by saying,”May we discuss this matter in private?”Likewise,when hurt by a close friend or lover,rather than responding on the spot with your o caustic stab,try to talk over the incident first.Explain that you feel violated.It’s very possible that the person who mortified you was only trying to seem clever and didn’t realise how hurt you would be.
The next times someone places you in an embarrassing situation,use this effecte tactics to handle the culprit and keep your self-esteem intact.
Call a spade a spade.If the person who is embarrassing you is acompetitive co-worker (and not a lover or friend who can be reasoned with later,in private)simply callthe personon it-and put a stop to the game on the spot.Say,”Would you mind telling me what that was all about?” or, “You seem bothered.Is thare something you’re unhappy with that I should be aware of?”
Refuse to plat the game.When Melissa agreed to meet a client at his hotel room,the man greted her at the door,wearing only a towel and gestured her to come in and be seated on his unmade bed.”The whole situation reeked of a power play,” Melissa recalls, “I could just smell an embarrassing scene brewing.Even if no-one saw us,he’d have a juicy story to tell his cronies later,”Refusing to play his game,Melissa said,”I expected you to be ready for our meeting on time.I’ll come back in 20 minutes when you’re dressed.”When she returned,the man was fully clothed- and apologetic.
Think upper class.Years ago,cristina Ford (then married to Henry Ford II)was at a White House dinner party when her strapless gown suddenly slipped down,baring her breasts.Unfazed,Cristina simply hiked up her dress and kept chatting as itif nothing had happened.How could she remain so poised?It can only be explained in the two words: Social Security.Richard Gross,a clinical psychologist explains:”The upper classes are among the unembarrassables of the world.If your status is so high it can’t change and nobody can take it from you,you don’t get embarrased.” So when someone tries to put you on the spot,imagine for a split second you’re Oprah Winfrey or The Sultan Brunei;it may help.