How to Re-Friend

When you fell in love you dropped your friends, as if being newly single weren’t bad enough, heartache, division of property, disappointment, rage or regret, there are also the threads of a new life or more usually an old life to be picked up and spun into some semblance of a rich tapestry.  This includes all those friends you have neglected for the entire course of the love affair.  We have all been there to a greater or lesser degree.  The guy you thought was the only one for you and it turns out to be failure.  You need to reforge the bonds of friendship and depending on how badly you have neglected your friendship this can be tricky.

The thing about new romance it absorbs you totally, leaving very little roomfor  workor friends.When romance turns sour, those fast-dropped friends are going to seem oh-so-very appealing all over again, you have some serious work to do for them to take you back as an old friend. You have shared secrets, supported each other, shared values,  recognise each others personalities,   concerns and behaviour.  Friendship is a question of giving to get getting to give.  You are now guilty of not just neglect, but of letting down your side of a serious bargain.

Re-friend with your personality Make them know you have totally wrong about leaving and take the blame for it this will open their eyes to know you admit your failures to them. A plan well- thought, and not pleading to be taken back, forget about begging.

Be humble don’t expect to walk right back into your place like you were before, be smart, pick the most sympathetic ofyour friendsor the one you were always closest to and hope she will take up the cudgels on your behalf.  be pre-emptive if you think you are about to disappear into therabbithole of romance warn your close friends and wait for their patience.  Be ready to share,your friendswill want the finer details.  Withholding can be a serious strategic mistake.  Be contrite you will need to apologise for your neglect and also need to undertake not to be so foolish again.  Be organised as you try to worm your way back into what was once your gang.  You need to be the person that comes up with the plans and books tables,ticketsand weekends away.  This should go on for a certain time until they have gained your trust again.

 

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