“Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way.” (Dr. Alan Zimmerman). How true. Have you ever had anyone in your life, be it a permanent resident or a visitor passing through, that hasn’t at one time or another caused you discontent? It may be completely unintentional – as it is a lot of the time- but ouch! It’s there, you feel let down and what makes it worse for you is that the other party may be oblivious to the fact.
The passive aggressive will say nothing, but somehow underhandedly ensure revenge is carried out. The aggressive will lash out of control, lose rationality and rant, rave and inevitably hurt someone’s feelings. The meek will “cop it sweet”, “turn the other cheek” and all that. He or she may speak out in regards to the incident, but in the end will shrug the shoulders and walk away.
Which of the above is the healthier approach? A lot of you may say,” What about a happy medium? What about assertion?” Nothing wrong with that, but there are those times when the best intentions just do not turn out the way we plan them and it is much more gracious to just “let it go”.
I often imagine a life of grace of just looking forward and not letting anything pull me in any other direction. In order to let go in the true sense, the first thing to do is shed the “I” or “ego” self. When there is no ego we can “be” and it is then that creativity, love and wisdom rise to the surface and you will be amazed at the knowledge and talents that are within yourself.
One good way is with meditation. Silencing the mind will reconnect you with the Higher Power. We have no way of knowing who or what Higher Power is, but it is out there.
Peter Russell is a fellow of the “Institute of Noetic Sciences, of The World Business Academy” and of “The Findhorn Foundation”, and an Honorary Member of “The Club of Budapest”. He runs workshops on this very subject.” We often do look outside for help, but our perfect teacher is our Higher self, which already knows precisely what we need to let go of, and how to let it happen,” he says. You just need to hush those thoughts rushing in and out.
“The Meditation Society of Australia” (https://meditation.org.au/) is a non denominational inexpensive site where one can learn different aspects of meditation. Learning to meditate every day is a wonderful gift you can give to yourself. You will be amazed at the insight you will receive with constant practice. It truly is life changing. To be able to keep calm in situations with the attitude of “I will to will thy will”. To allow our authentic best self to surface the “ego” mind is to be restrained.
How many things do you do in a day that honor what you really want? If we examine our lives it would be interesting to see what would be left if we took away all that is not genuinely us. What would our word be like? Where would we live? What work would we do?
Laura V Hyde is a spiritual leader, counselor, author and teacher. She challenges us to take the masks we wear off and expose our true essence. In her article “Living the authentic life” she says, “Dare to be yourself. Strip away the mask and let yourself just “be.” Take time to have fun and allow yourself to find humor in being human. Know that your purpose for being born wasn’t to live life according to what society deems correct. Your purpose is to discover your true self and live from that awareness. If you resonate to the color violet, then be violet, not brown.”
What do you really like? Where do you really want to be? What is it that you really want to do? These are questions for the “Higher Self” and the answers may not be as far away as you think. You just need to dispose of “I”, meditate and just “be”.
Marianne Williamson’s “A return to love” teaches the concept of shedding the ego layers to find our core, our true self and to surrender to God’s love. She says, “Events are always in a flux. One day they love you; the next day you’re their target. One day a situation is running smoothly; the next day you feel like you’re an utter failure. These changes in life are always going to happen; they’re a part of the human experience. What can change, however, is how we perceive those experiences. And that shift in perception is the meaning of miracles.”
In her book Marianne writes about the biblical story where Jesus talked about building your house on sand or building it on rock. She compares the house with our emotional state. If you are trying to physically control everything yourself you are residing on sand and a storm, a strong wind or rain can easily tear your house down. When you surrender your life to the Universe and “let go”, your foundations are built on rock and will therefore withstand the unexpected thunderstorm. Living a surrendered life and doing away with your masks is pretty scary stuff, but just because it is intimidating there is no reason to avoid changing one step at a time.
There are those times, first thing ,when I awaken, my mind races through what is ahead of me during the day and some days are of course more difficult than others. I know from past experience that some particular event is going to be tough and I know it is unavoidable. It is during these times that I have to choose. My choice is to work myself into an agitated state worrying about how I am going to be in command of each and every situation I will encounter, which will inevitably lead to stress and failure or I can lay down my arms, step out of the way and allow the Universe to take over. It sounds so easy, but to relinquish your grip on life is challenging. To trust another power instead of yourself is tough.
Marianne says “We surrender to God first of course the things we don’t really care that much about anyway. Some of us don’t mind giving our attachments to career goals, but there’s no way we’re going to surrender our romantic relationships, or vice versa. But if it’s really important, we think we better handle it ourselves. The truth is, of course, that the more important it is to us, the more important it is to surrender.” The trick is to let go of our attachment to results and to hold onto to the conviction that the Universe will take care of things. Are your ready to make the choice, detach from outcome, strip away those layers and allow your soul to shine through?
Be grateful for all you have instead of all you don’t have, care enough for yourself to surrender your ego and your life. Remember Virginia Satir American psychologist and educator (1916-1988)’s words: I am me and I’m OK.
“I am Me.
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.
Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it – I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me.
By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know – but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me.
If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me.
I am me, and I am Okay.”
You are fine just the way you are you have everything you need and you are exactly where you should be right now. Think about that.
“The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.” Lao-Tse.