As I got older I didn’t realize how forgiveness worked. I thought it was always someone who asks for forgiveness then shall be forgiven. In this case, I forgave when it was not asked or even implied. It was a blind forgiveness I like to call it.
What Forgiveness Looks Like
I literally woke up one day feeling a sense of urgency to fly across the country to visit with my Dad. I didn’t know where it was coming from at the time. But I was obedient and took action.
My relationship with my Father was distant to the point that I felt more comfortable with strangers. Growing up I felt abandoned, hurt and isolated and completely not normal. I always felt like there was something wrong with me and like I was so different from everyone else. Growing up with the frusteration and confusion of what really went on in my parent’s relationship on left me bitter deep down. I would ask myself, Why couldn’t they make it work. What was SO big that they couln’t work out.
Fastforward into my adult and parenting life, the need to forgive my dad had come. My Dad did not come to me and ask for forgivness, in fact I had not spoken with my Dad in years. The act of forgiveness was all within me. I did not understand why or how, but I had a burning compassion and new love for my Dad.
What Forgiveness Did For Me
Not only did I forgive my Dad, I truly believe it set him free as well as myself. Although what you will watch in the video explains how this particular event unraveled in my life, but how I was able to let go. It did not excuse the fact that I felt isolated and unworthy as a child, but I was an adult now, I have the power to hold onto things or let them go. And with The Holy Spirits guidance and love, this was the biggest act of forgiveness I had ever done. Was it painful at times, absolutely. But no great endeavor worth anything is simple or easy.