Taking a Look at Oneself

        Looking at all my accomplishments and all I happen to stand for. I realize that I must take a stand and make my name live up to what it should be. I’m Bobbie Sue Lawrie and I want to live to be lived.
        Through the past years there have been voices in my head jabbering on about all the ideas I have passed up, or come to almost let go. Of all the voices that I have listened to happen to be my own. My voice sometimes rigid and bland has a purpose. Not to just be heard but to have helped those in need of the greater un-doubtedness.
        In my shoes and my own mind set my independence is set apart from others. I do not need nor want to have to be helped. With being brought up to have the “do it yourself” attitude, the fact that no matter how much you know the world’s no perfect; we all have our own definition . My definition of perfection is that “no matter how many times you do something, just be satisfied that you did it your way.” My independence was gained through knowledge from my several inspirations. Some family, friends and strangers astrought the world- wondering or just dead and gone away.
        Faithfully, I am determined to succeed. I have come to find being stubborn and responsible are two things that cause a person to step into the real world and go eager happy. almost all the little and different things stretched into every little crack and crevice in the outside world away from your safe haven. With sticky notes in some of the college mail that-i have acquired over the past years- happen to be marks of pro’s and con’s. With the sticky notes comes a notebook full of quotes and notes with words of wisdom from my family and friends, which makes determination look a lot sweeter every day.
        As an older sister, Best Friend to many and a shoulder to lean on. I am looked amongst as a hero of some kind. My words tend to grasp more then what I think they do. As the first to graduate and complete high school-to want to continue with my dreams of success- and to move onto college “ a home away from home.” It feels good to be smiled upon, and later on in my life to soon to have shook the hands of the greatest folk of my time. Leading the way I coach the people around me so i can to be ready from what life may throw at my door step. A word that i live in happens to be: “Take life as it is, for it may have new surprises around every corner, you never know until you truly walk to streets.” Barrelling through the crowd I feel tiny on the outside, but on the inside there is an even bigger person dying to reach it’s highest point. As realistic and positive as I am negative does get me down, but I am understanding enough to know that things “happen” for a reason. For one) make someone a better person, and for two) allow them to steadily grasp reality of which I have confidence that I do have a good enough grasp on.  
        Many people have a flaw or several flaws they do not like one of my biggest flaws to me happen to be my aggression in some ways its good and in others it’s bad. For example one of the ways it’s good is because when one gets into the “big” business world you have to know what you want, be on point and not be afraid. One of the ways that this aggression could be bad is that someone or something has a possibility of getting hurt. As mentioned earlier perfection is meek, while im-perfection lives at large.
        Watchfully, I close my eyes and fast forward to 10 years from where I stand today. I see myself on the bring of success. Waking up every morning to a big ego and a decent cup of coffee and taking a readily steady foot out of my front door. I carry with me my dignity and all that I live for with me. I take each stride carefully, fast and easy. Within the next 10 years I will have acquired the skills needed. I see myself taking each day as it is. I learn all that I can to make me and my world I live in a better place.
        Sometimes, I get all confused and have second thoughts, who doesn’t? I but I feel I am a complicated person. In my opinion you cannot live life simple or easy. Even mixing it up makes things more interesting. In return, makes me seem like a fun loving person.
        Afraid of nothing, I laugh in what I think is the face of evil. In elementary school the other kids would ask me What I was afraid of. I remember standing up to people, spiders, darkness and rudeness. Until just recently i have realized I’m scared of fear itself. I’m afraid of loss, confusion and the human mind. I’m afraid of hurt and being scared. I am so wrapped in being a bigger, badder and tougher person. I forgot what it was like to need and want. I often spoke before I knew. I’m afraid of judgement. I’m afraid of death. In my mind my death will go untold or the worst of the worst will happen. No remorse will be shown when I leave the face of this earth. I remember telling my peers that I was afraid of nothing. On the bright side before my uncle passed away I had recieved words of wisdom-of which I feel happen to be the reason I am alive and well today. These words tell me “Be all that you can be, do not let one person from the next stand in your way, take every opportunity and twist it to make it a lesson even if a mistake cannot be found within the opportunity, touch upon all the little things in life, and be not afraid of others but of what you alone can do, make people be scared, make people want to run and hide at your very presence, just do you.” These words surround me creating a wall. Taking a look at myself I am surrounded by positive and negative ion’s that i myself have to seperate.