I guess I never had the guts to actually follow through with my decision to leave facebook, with only two days left. Maybe I just wasn’t ready to do it yet. I had probably crawled too far down the rabbit hole to get back out. Well, I couldn’t figure out what it was, but I just couldn’t stand being off of facebook. To tell the truth, it tore me apart, and I didn’t really care anymore that I had spread so much hype about me leaving. I was probably being dumb anyways.
So there I was, back on facebook again. It was different, though. It felt different. It was not the warm and cozy thing that I had remembered it to be. It felt like I had made another wrong decision for being back. I asked myself questions. “Will I be allowed back? Will people hate me for being gone? Do I have a lot to catch up on, since I missed so much stuff because I left facebook?” The answer to that last question was actually was surprisingly easy to find, and it scared me a little bit. The answer to that last question was most likely…. no. I felt bad at that moment. I didn’t change anybody else’s life. I don’t even feel like I was able to change my own.
Was I back into my addiction? Was my rehab never completed? Well, I guess I never was able to follow through, and I was probably back into my same old routine of wasting valuable time on the internet. But hold on, maybe I had learned something that I probably couldn’t have learned if I had stayed on facebook. I realize now that I can live without facebook and do pretty well. I learned from this experience that facebook is actually a great tool that I could use to stay connected, but I also must use it wisely. I learned that there was no point to be on facebook for too long. However, I also learned that I can’t let down my friends like that ever again.
So where are we now? Back to where we started? I would say that we definitely aren’t. Through this experience, I have learned how to handle being on facebook and being away from it. I have learned to be able to live more in my “actual” life instead of my internet life. Even though I have given up, I feel proud for doing what I have done. Hey, maybe I will try it again if the time comes. In the end, I can say that doing this was a great experience, and I would actually recommend everyone to try it at least once just to see how they feel. But for now, I guess I’m back, and, well, I guess that it is good to be back.