The Unique Calendar


A sophisticated Christian lady who was wife of some senior official once came to subzi mandi to do some shopping of vegetable and fruits herself accompanied by two men to help her who were holding the shopping bags and walking behind her. She went from one shop to another asking various rates of the items displayed. Also she would touch the vegetable or a fruit and hold it in her hand turn and twist the item and comment on the quality to the shopkeeper who would although not like it but kept mum fearing  the status of the lady. She also would ask rates of most of the items, touch all of them and would finally take one or two of them thereby wasting the time of the shopkeeper who in that time would have sold three times the quantity she purchased to the other customer. After finishing her shopping she finally came to a hawker’s cart who was selling date palms and his cart was full of them in different bunches as per the quality. The hawker was watching the Lady since last three shops which she visited. As she came to him the following conversation took place between them

Lady:  How are these dates?

Hawker : Kya Madam?(What Madam?)

Lady: Yeh dates kaise diya aapney?(At what rate are you selling these dates?)

Hawker: Madam isay to khajur kehtey hain.(Madam this is called Khajur)

Lady:  Haa hum wohi bola ki tum isko kitne rate mein dene ko sakega (Yes  I said the same that at what rate you will be able to sell these to me ?)

Meanwhile the helper accompanying her went from the side to the hawker to tell him that khajur is called date in English and clarified him for easy communication with her. The hawker then came to the frequency of the lady and tried to help her out by explaining his way.

Hawker: Madam this English date from Saudi Arab  one hundred Rs kg mein hota and yeh desi date sattar ko 5 Rs kum mein hota. Aap ko which khareedna?  (Madam this English dates from Saudi Arabia are costing Rs 100 per kg and these  local dates are costing Rs 65 per kg. Which one do you want to buy?)

The lady did not reply as she was busy checking the quality of dates by piercing her long fashionable smoothly polished pink coloured nails into the dates to check its hardness whether they are fresh or not  and in turn had pierced about 6 to 7 of them which the hawker did not like but kept quiet for sometime to avoid getting into argumentation with her. But when he saw that she still continued the process and the other customers were bye passing his cart resulting into his financial loss his patience ran out. So he gathered courage and told the lady clearly  with his hands folded. 

Hawker: Memsaab humary request hai ki kripa apna ladyfinger wala naakhun humaari date mein na ghusayrhey nahin to humara sara  calendar kharaab ho jayega

(Madam I request you not to poke your finger having long nails into the dates otherwise my complete calendar will get spoiled)

Everyone standing there who knew that a khajur is called date in English burst out laughing and the lady immediately told her helper to get 1 Kg of those dates and pushed away further without saying a word to the hawker.