Where is The Limit Between Love And Dependence?

They say that when you love you practically belong to the beloved one and the happiness, sadness, your success or failure depend on what the other does and how he or she behaves. Could this be true?

Is is normal that when you offer your soul to someone you also put in his arms your personality and you expect that person to behave carefully with it so you won’t suffer? Can you call it love when you choose to depend on someone in order to fulfill all your dreams and ideals?

The limit between love and emotional dependence is very thin and many women fall in this trap. Men depend on someone harder than women, while women can hardly detach from someone. What I don’t understand is why is this happening so often? Could be because we don’t stand being alone? As far as I know, men are those who don’t appreciate the solitude and need a woman near them, all the time. So in this case, what could it be?

At a given moment somebody told me a big truth: “Women need to be noticed!” It seems that we simply need someone in our life constantly who observe us and admire our qualities. And from there we can assume that probably we are too afraid to remain single because in that case there would be nobody to praise us and flatter our elation.

On the other hand I cannot ignore the version in which you become dependant on a guy from too much love. But can you call it love anymore, in this situation? Isn’t it more like an obsession over against the other built on distrust in your forces and a disregard or you own ego? Yes, you depend on the other because you think it would be too weary to depend on yourself and you put love as a painting in order to not see the broken wall from beyond.

And after all, are we so incapable that we cannot take our lives in our own hands?

What can I do if I can’t live without him?? If I don’t see him one day, I feel like “I’m dying”, this is the line which I hear most often when a friend of mine is caught into a relationship of this kind. But is it true? You really can’t live without the person you love in your life? I say you can. The only difference is that you don’t see it so interesting anymore. It seems harder, gruffer and you don’t like it. But you could start loving you more before starting loving someone else. The love towards yourself will never disappoint you, the one aimed to someone else will, because you cannot control it. On the other hand, don’t forget that a possessive dependence can make you lose the source of your obsession. Nobody likes to be suffocated and under compulsion. And the more you squeeze the door, the hand caught in the cleft will struggle to get out of there. While women jell their dependence towards men, men fight firmly for their independence.

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