I’ve read the twilight saga twice- yes, I know it’s obsessive, but who could resist Edward Cullen? I certainly can’t. But as I reflected the glory that is Edward Cullen, I realized, it was not the vampire with a silver Volvo that appealed to me most. It was the thought, the idea, the hope that somewhere there might be someone, who could love another with the same intensity of love- maybe even more.
I may be very idealistic when I say that I dream of a guy who would be capable of loving me without having any downfalls or pay some kind of price in exchange for that amount of love. I dream of a guy who could love me with as much intensity, with as much love as I am ever capable of giving another. To whom I can be totally selfless knowing that I wouldn’t end up being a martyr, because my love is being reciprocated. I want to have that chance of feeling wanted, like I don’t have to force myself into his life for him to notice me. To have that chance of feeling being cared for, secure, without any fear of heartaches.
This kind of view in love may be very selfish to some point of view, but I’d rather be selfish and honest than drown in disillusion of any other kind of idealism. I don’t want to continue lying to myself that I’m not as idealistic in relationships. It’s not Edward Cullen I had fallen in love with, it’s the idea of Edward Cullen that had me head over heels.